We’ve seen the meme, grateful for the smile it brought.
Not only did CoVid-19 take over our lives this year, it took over my blog for three months beginning in March, returning once in December when I talked about having my first CoVid test. I’m not complaining, mind you; Face Masks and the Power of Culture on April 8 got the highest number of comments of the year. A topic to which we all could relate, I imagine.
Today, I’m profoundly weary of it and of the factors that have led to its spread. That weariness is showing up in more places than I’d ever have expected a year ago including here at And So It Goes. And so it goes.
I considered taking a break, as I did in the spring and summer of 2019, but I feared if I stepped back, I’d never return.
When my website crashed in late summer this year (the old theme didn’t update and finally caught up to me) I could have taken that as a sign. Instead I spent nearly $1000 to fix it. Now I must make that investment pay off. I call this the Vietnam War philosophy: We can’t pull out now; we’ve invested far too much!
It’s possible I’m depressed (we all deserve to be depressed). I’m certainly tired. And though I refuse to watch TV network news programs, I keep up with what’s going on in the world via independent and long-tested print news outlets. Never in my lifetime have I felt my country so adrift, so many people vulnerable, or the democracy I cherish so fragile.
I’m a privileged straight white woman who can afford to hunker down and ride this out, which is exactly what I’ve done since March 13. And I’m sick of it.
Then I feel guilty. Anne Frank hung in there for more than two years!
Of course, we’ll need to change “a few weeks” to “probably about a year.”
We humans are reportedly resilient when we need to be; I know this from the nearly two hundred memoirs of Holocaust survivors I’ve read over the past twenty years. Only now I’m recognizing there were another six million who might argue resilience is sometimes not enough.
I expected my work with asylum seekers to bolster me. It certainly gave me a much needed new focus a year ago and it’s been a pleasure having our young man live with us these past four months (I never expected how helpful he’d be). But I’m also newly aware that my government has been mucking up the immigration system for decades.
The view of my country that I grew up with was the melting pot (though the better metaphor has shown itself to be a stew). Immigrants from around the world sought refuge and opportunity in MY country. I came of age proud of this.
Turns out we have not been a particularly welcoming country for decades; the immigration mess just got more press under tRump.
Maybe that’s a good thing, in hindsight.
We have a president who chooses his words for impact only, regardless of their veracity; whose insecurity, vulgarity, ineptitude, and basic corruption has brought the office of President of these United States to a new low, allowed the coronavirus pandemic to flourish, and made life much more dangerous for non-white, non-straight, or poor Americans. Our president is a grifter, a conman extraordinaire, the quintessential flimflam man of old. And even more Americans voted for him in this recent election than in 2016.
As all presidents have done, tRump swore an oath to “faithfully execute the Office of President” and to “preserve, protect and defend” our Constitution. That he has failed miserably on that score is second only to the fact that his party, the once honorable GOP, hasn’t held him accountable for a single one of his vulgar, duplicitous acts of sabotage.
“I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”
In less than 25 days we’ll have a new leader in place. Egg baskets holding what they do, I’ll not rely on one man to fix the problems that have been festering for generations. The divisions go deeper than four years will fix. I have done all I can on that score. It’s time to look inward.
It’s also time to look to the future.
Next week I’ll return, eagerly once again, to tell you what I’m focusing on as I look ahead to 2021. In the meantime, I hope you’ll join me to welcome in the New Year with both gusto and gratitude.
How about you? How are you faring these days?