I promised to be back at the dawn of 2025, didn’t I?
It’s April as I write this, long past dawn; it’s more like mid-morning.
Here in northern Vermont the snows are melting, the rain is pelting, and the mud is everywhere – even in my house thanks to our dog, Kymber. You’ll hear more of Kymber as the months go on, I hope.
Life is good.
That is my mantra, even as I learn to cope with this progressive, debilitating, insidious disease they call Alzheimer’s. My word for 2025 is JOY. I am determined to find it as often as I can. And I do. First, here’s a bit of history.
Woody (my husband, for those of you new to And So It Goes) was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease last August. I’ve known it was coming for many years. Wouldn’t any wife? Actually, no; many family members go for years not seeing the changes. I do not understand this. It was not just that he was forgetting; it was that he was often unaware that he was forgetting, repeating, confused.
I joined my first Alzheimer’s support group while waiting for the results of the first memory testing I’d insisted upon. That was nearly ten years ago. Woody had agreed to be tested to show me he was just the absent minded professor he’d always been. We’d had an argument as I recall. Too many broken promises, forgotten chores; I’d turned to him and loudly declared, “You’d better have dementia. Otherwise you’re getting a divorce.” And so he got tested. Twice, a year apart. Both times were negative for dementia. I didn’t believe them and divorce was really never thought of seriously.
The support group was of great help. My stories registered with the members; they told me I belonged. But when the official testing, both times, showed only that he had ADD, which we already knew about, I backed away. I didn’t want to take up time from these folks who really needed support. I tucked the possibility of dementia away and focused on my new projects — supporting asylum seekers, as they made their way to a new life, and writing LEAPFROG.
Somewhere during Covid, his PCP gave him a Mild Cognitive Impairment diagnosis, MCI. We were on our way. I began talking to experts, gathering support, buying the books.
The blog, and my old favorite topics — cultural difference, even civil discourse — became less important to me as cognitive decline grew in their place. Learning about dementia (the umbrella term, Alzheimer’s is just the most common type) and the brain, became my new project, my new Master’s Degree, if anyone gave out such a thing. And that I found exciting.
The 36-Hour Day was the first print book I bought. It’s like a bible on dementia, a few pages geared to MCI. I devoured them. Traveler’s to Unimaginable Lands was the second print book I bought (after reading it and a few others on my Kindle). This one helped me understand how this disease impacted ME too and I knew I’d want to share it.
I found support; I learned to feel my feelings, all of them, even the ones I didn’t want to recognize; and I got educated. And now I wonder if it’s time to return to the blog that I loved for so long.
I’m not sure. Will this become a place for me to share what I’m learning about this insidious disease, a place for me to share my journey, my hopes, my mistakes, assumptions, and fears?
Time will tell.
Here is Woody and me at a gathering of my high school classmates, shortly after we returned from Peace Corps, in 2007. Photo credit goes to my classmate, Victor Glass.
Barbara Piscopo
Janet—I am so sorry you and Woody are going through this! But, knowing you, you will use this blog to help yourself and to help others!
Glad you have reached out to a group for support and I’m sure will receive some from this blog.
Sending you both love and a huge hug!
Barb Piscopo
Lorain, Ohio
Janet Givens
Thank you Barb. And such a joy to see you here, leading, as fits you well.
Janet Givens recently posted…The dawning of my dementia journey
Merril D Smith
I’m sorry to read about Woody. I wish you both well. Sending hugs your way.
Merril D Smith recently posted…NaPoWriMo 2025, Day 28: All My Heart Embraces
Janet Givens
Thank you Merril, hugs are gratefully acknowledged.
Janet Givens recently posted…The dawning of my dementia journey
Tracy Rittmueller
I think of you often, Janet — it’s good to hear from you. It’s a challenging journey. I appreciate that you phrased the blogging question as a question whose only answer is “time will tell.”
It’s pretty much the answer to every thought about the future now.
XOXO
Janet Givens
Hello Tracy. “Challenging journey,” indeed. One, I like to say, I never packed for. And here we are.
Janet Givens recently posted…The dawning of my dementia journey
Marian Beaman
This is sad to hear this, Janet, but you know you have sympathetic readers here.
I noticed the phrasing of your title: “The Dawning of My Dementia Journey.” When our mates are hurting we hurt too, but in a different way.
Wishing you strength for the journey and happy moments along the way. ((( )))
Marian Beaman recently posted…Sarah and Isaac, mother and son: Wordless Wednesday
Janet Givens
Thank you Marian. I’m looking forward to seeing where this leads.
Janet Givens recently posted…The dawning of my dementia journey
Ella Reznikova
Thinking about you and Woody! ♥️Please keep writing.
Ella
Janet Givens
Thank you Ella.
Yes, thank you.
Janet Givens recently posted…The dawning of my dementia journey
Irene
I bought that book when published, I think it was a Johns Hopkins book? I care for both parents, and had 2 foster children w special needs and took in other kids, too. No wonder I have MS! It was a great book. You have quite a journey ahead.
Janet Givens
Yes, I do. And I’m glad to know I won’t have to travel it alone. I hope your MS is not too flaring and that you have the support you need.
Janet Givens recently posted…The dawning of my dementia journey
Martha Graham-Waldon
Best wishes to you both. We will all be touched by this somehow…
Janet Givens
Thank you Martha.
Janet Givens recently posted…The dawning of my dementia journey